"If the pineapple fits, live in it."
Each episode of Bikini Bottom Mysteries focuses on a different Bikini Bottom resident, and is narrated by an unnamed detective. The episodes start with the detective talking about the life and habits of the fish, before going on to talk about several examples (called "exhibits") of the fish in question being overly mysterious, law defying, or out of place compared to other residents. The detective also shows clips of the subject in question, usually showing oddities related to them. At the episode's end, the detective sums up everything revealed about the fish.
Each episode ends with a bonus mystery, which is usually an animation error or a defiance of logic (such as the fire underwater in "Life of Crime"). The detective then files the bonus mystery under a letter, like "F" for "Fishy."
Then, the narrator does his outro that tells viewers to comment their ideas for new cases and to like and subscribe. He also shares his quote, "If the pineapple fits, live in it."
The series has a total of fourteen episodes over two seasons.
There's Something Fishy About Frank (Episode 1)
Episode 1 focuses on Frank, who the detective describes as a Krabby Patty-loving blue shirt aficionado with a promising future as an interior decorator (shown by a clip of "Patty Hype" where Frank talks about the drabness of the Krusty Krab). After showing his various hobbies, the detective starts talks about how mysterious Frank is:
- Exhibit A: Multiple wives. Frank seemingly has multiple wives other than Nancy Suzy Fish (by showing clips of him having lunch with several female fish)
- Exhibit B: Multiple identities. Frank goes by multiple identities (noting how he goes by Dave in "Valentine's Day" and Percy in "I Had an Accident")
- Exhibit C: His voice. Frank once spoke with a female's voice (by showing a scene from "Selling Out" with him speaking with a female voice)
The detective then recounts the oddities surrounding Frank (his wives, identities, and voice) and states that while the truth about Frank's real identity may never be found, he is definitely hiding something.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how Patrick was able to light a fire underwater in "Life of Crime," and wonders if Bikini Bottom defies physics or if magic is involved. He then files the mystery under "H" for "Huh?"
Is the Purple Doctor Fish A Medical Maniac?! (Episode 2)
Episode 2 focuses on the Purple Doctorfish, who the detective notes is usually the first person who treats injured or ill patients, and that he has no actual name. He then goes on to talk about how the doctor is "off" in a few ways:
- Exhibit A: His patients. The doctor's lack of medical experience (by showing several clips of moments where he made false predictions to some of his patients, namely Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob, while also noting how he doesn't wear gloves or shoes when operating)
- Exhibit B: Hospital horrors. The doctor's cruel treatments for his patients (as shown in "Suds"), his misuse of medical supplies (by using needles to tranquillise people in "Demolition Doofus"), and his refusal to treat wimps (as seen when he tells SpongeBob to get treated at Weenie Hut General in "No Weenies Allowed")
- Theory: The detective makes a theory that the Purple Doctorfish actually never existed. He notices how the doctor is bad at treating patients, but has a lot of knowledge when handling pets, mainly Sea snails. A clip of "Band Geeks" reveals that the doctor is actually from a pet hospital, which leads to the next exhibit.
- Exhibit C: The snail doctor. The Purple Doctorfish looks and sounds extremely similar to snail expert Dr. Gill Gilliam, possibly meaning that the Purple Doctorfish is a disguise for Dr. Gilliam. While there is a problem with Doctorfish having fins compared to Gilliam having hands, it is suggested that since SpongeBob can wear fake buff arms (shown in MuscleBob BuffPants), Gilliam could wear fake purple fins. After he states there's no way to know for certain, clips from "I Was a Teenage Gary" show the Purple Doctorfish with orange hands, which confirms that the two doctors are the same person.
The detective wonders if Dr. Gilliam disguises himself to commit crimes like burglary, arson, and piracy (with the last point being true, as he is a pirate in "Pull Up a Barrel"). The detective questions the various disguises, before stating that while the doctor's motives are unknown, the detective is onto the doctor's act.
Bonus Mystery: The detective notes several moments where SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick are able to blow bubbles (in "Wormy"), use whistles (in "Prehibernation Week"), and eat apples (in "A Flea in Her Dome") despite wearing water or air helmets on their heads. He then files the mystery under "U" for "Uhhhhhh."
Is Harold A Ticking Timebomb?! (Episode 3)
Episode 3 focuses on Harold "Bill" Reginald, who the detective describes an average underwater mountaineer (as revealed in "Are You Happy Now?"), fashion enthusiast (when Stanley dresses him in "Stanley S. SquarePants"), and a dedicated Glove World! employee (shown in "Roller Cowards"). However, the detective goes on to talk about how, under his harmless exterior, Harold could be a ticking time bomb:
- Exhibit A: His appetite. Harold has a large appetite and is usually seen eating food, which includes other fish (as seen when he bites Nat's arm in "The Play's the Thing"), and the detective notes how Harold has sharp jagged teeth like that of a predator.
- Exhibit B: His temper. Harold has a huge temper and gets angry at the slightest things (like how he literally exploded in anger in "Stanley S. SquarePants"), and Harold always gets into fights and even starts some (like in "Band Geeks"). The detective notes that a big thing that triggers his temper is the elderly (as shown when he gets angry at Lonnie in "The Bully" and Mr. Krabs in "Band Geeks").
- Exhibit C: Boo-Boo keys. Harold had an emotional breakdown when he was reminded of his imaginary friend, his Boo-boo keys, in "Bubble Buddy." The detective notes how this may be related to his aggressive eating, anger issues, and problems with the elderly.
The detective theorises that Harold is either a big softie who misses playing with his boo-boo keys, or an utter lunatic (as shown when he has a mental breakdown and starts cradling and talking to himself after his Pet Store is destroyed in "Gary in Love"). He then states that while it's a mystery how Harold works, he is still a time bomb waiting to go off.
Bonus Mystery: The detective shows clips of Gary the Snail and notes that his shell has five blue spots and a red spiral. However, in "Treats!" Gary's shell has red spots and a blue spiral instead. The detective questions if this Gary is an impostor, and if Gary is hiding something. He then files the mystery under "W" for "What the barnacles?"
What is Nat Peterson Hiding?! (Episode 4)
Episode 4 focuses on Nat Peterson, who the detective describes as the first Bikini Bottomite to be both a pastor and a bus driver (as shown in "Just One Bite" and "Sandy's Nutmare" respectively) who others say is an outstanding citizen with a heart of gold. Despite this, the detective talks about how Nat has a dark past, which includes being involved in the "biggest underwater fast food scandal in history" (when Karen payed him to eat at the Chum Bucket in "Plankton's Regular") and more:
- Exhibit A: Hidden cash. Nat lives a modest life in a trailer in the Bikini Bottom Trailer Park, but always seems to have vast amounts of money for purchasing eccentric headwear (like $1,000 for Plankton's Stench-vision goggles in "Move It or Lose It," or $100,000 for Mr. Krabs' Soda drinking hat in "One Krabs Trash") as if he would pay anything for a disguise.
- Exhibit B: Sabotage. Whenever a Krusty Krab employee is in trouble, Nat always seems to be nearby (like when SpongeBob got stuck in Rock Bottom in "Rock Bottom," when Squilliam Fancyson humiliated Squidward in "Squilliam Returns," or when Mr. Krabs nearly married Cashina in "Married to Money")
- Exhibit C: The supernatural. Nat has supernatural powers like super strength (when he single-handedly flips a Boatmobile in "Move It or Lose It"), shape-shifting (when he transforms his head into a live-action human hand in "Free Samples"), and cloning (shown when eight Nat Petersons are seen in the same crowd in "As Seen on TV")
The detective summarises what has been discovered and questions what Nat Peterson actually is. He then comments that while the truth may never be revealed, he (and others) are afraid of Nat's powers.
Watch Out For Mable! (Episode 5)
Episode 5 focuses on Mable, who the detective describes as one of Bikini Bottom's oldest citizens, an ally to Mermaid Man (shown in "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" where Mermaid Man summons her to remove SpongeBob and Patrick from Shady Shoals Rest Home) and Larry the Lobster's mother (revealed in "SpongeGuard on Duty"). He then warns that Mable may actually be "more dangerous than an Alaskan Bull Worm," as shown:
- Exhibit A: That stare. Mable has a constant emotionless stare at nearly all times, despite what disasters are happening (like when SpongeBob broke his thumbs in "Two Thumbs Down," when SpongeBob disappeared in "Prehibernation Week," or after everyone was cured of the Krabby Patty creatures virus in "Krabby Patty Creature Feature")
- Exhibit B: Prison ties. Mable has visited her husband, Dennis, in the Bikini Bottom Jail in "Jailbreak!," though they are seated several feet apart. Several other episodes like "Sportz?," "The Sewers of Bikini Bottom," and "No Pictures Please" feature the couple standing close to each other, but at such a distance that people wouldn't assume they are related. The detective questions why the two are seemingly having secret meetings.
- Exhibit C: Supervillains. Mable has once defied a superhero (by picking up a dollar despite Patrick Man's orders in "Patrick-Man!") and has a friendly relationship with supervillain Man Ray (in "Shuffleboarding" it's revealed that Man Ray took Mable to the prom)
The detective talks about Mable's prison ties and her relationship with Man Ray, before revealing that the villain the Dirty Bubble has once disguised himself as Mable in "Patrick-Man!" He questions whether Mable was the Dirty Bubble all along, before saying that while we may never know the truth, there is still more to Mable than meets the eye.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Squidward is next door neighbors with SpongeBob, but there are several instances where one of the houses disappears (like how SpongeBob's house is missing in "Krabby Road," and how Squidward's house disappears in "Missing Identity"). He wonders if someone pushed the houses (like in "Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm" where Bikini Bottom was pushed) or if the houses have minds of their own (as shown in "The Secret Box" when Squidward's house peers over Patrick's shoulder). He then files the mystery under "I" for "Impossible."
Scooter's Haunting Secret (Episode 6)
Episode 6 focuses on Scooter, who the detective describes as everyone's lovable beach bum with a thing for ripped pants (shown when he laughs at SpongeBob's ripped pants in "Ripped Pants"), and says most would describe him as a charming fish. The detective then goes on to say that something's "not quite right" with Scooter:
- Exhibit A: His accent. Scooter is known for his surfer accent, but it disappears when he wears a suit and tie (shown in "The Executive Treatment"). The detective questions whether Scooter is actually a surfer or a businessman, or just lying about being a surfer/businessman.
- Exhibit B: The incident. Scooter was involved in an incident where he drowned on Leif Erikson Day in "Bubble Buddy," and witnesses saw his angel speak about his death before flying up to heaven.
- Exhibit C: The undead. Despite the above incident, Scooter has been seen around town and has even been seen in three different places within the span of a few seconds (seen in "SpongeGuard on Duty"). The detective also notes that Scooter was part of the crowd watching Mr. Krabs bury himself in "Patty Hype," but soon left, possibly because watching a person getting buried alive was too reminiscent of his death.
The detective goes over what has been learned of Scooter, and questions whether he is haunting Bikini Bottom. He states that while we will nevertheless know the truth, Scooter is still out there.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how Goo Lagoon can have water underwater (which was mentioned earlier), and theories that it could actually be made of goo (seen in "It Came from Goo Lagoon") or that it is magic, before scientifically talking about there being a dissolution of salt deposits causing Goo Lagoon to have a higher salinity than nearby sea water, making it have a greater density. He then files the mystery under "P" for "Pretty smart huh?"
Has Fred “My Leg” The Fish Been Using Fake Identities!? (Episode 7)
Episode 7 focuses on Fred, who the detective describes as an unlucky victim of the various disasters that happen in Bikini Bottom. The detective notes that Fred himself said that he breaks his leg in order to spend time with his crush Nurse Bazooka (shown in "My Leg!"). However, he then goes on to say that despite his beautiful singing voice (revealed when he sung "The Jellyfish Jelly Sandwich Song" in "Jellyfish Hunter"), there is something "off" about Fred:
- Exhibit A: Different appearances. Fred is shown to have multiple jobs, such as a spatula salesman (in "All That Glitters"), a janitor at Shady Shoals Rest Home (in "Doing Time"), a cameraman (in "Professor Squidward"), and a flag-twirler (in "Band Geeks"). The detective also note how he seems to change color from his usual green (as he is blue in "Something Smells" and purple in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie), that he sometimes has toes instead of fins (like in "My Leg!") and that sometimes he is a cowboy (in "Pest of the West"). The detective then questions if Fred has an army of clones (shown in "The Chaperone")
- Exhibit B: His leg. Fred is assumed by many to be unlucky or to have a weak leg as an explanation for his legs breaking, but the episode "My Leg!" reveals that he breaks them in order to spend time with Nurse Bazooka. The detective then questions how Fred knows where a disaster will happen so he can break his leg (such as the fire in "Wormy" or the traffic accident in "Boat Smarts"), and theorises that Fred may actually be causing the accidents. The detective then reveals research showing fish never had legs to begin with (seen with Johnny Elaine).
- Exhibit C: Obsessions. Fred has an obsession with Nurse Bazooka, and the detective notes that Fred breaking his leg to see her is unhealthy. He then reveals that Fred was also a fanatic of Kevin C. Cucumber, and went as far as jumping off a cliff for Kevin (shown in "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic"). The detective questions who Fred will obsess over next, before showing a clip of "Squilliam Returns" where Fred is wearing a similar outfit to SpongeBob's. The detective comments on how Spongebob and Fred have a history of stealing each other's clothing (as shown when SpongeBob steals Fred's clothes in "The String"), before questioning if Fred's next obsession is with SpongeBob.
The detective then states that while we will never know what is going on with Fred, he will definitely break his leg again, and again, and again.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Mrs. Puff seems innocent, before showing a clip from "No Free Rides" about her talking to herself of moving to a new city, starting a new boating school, and changing her name, before coming to her senses and refusing to do it again. The detective also talks about the recursive pictures Mrs. Puff owns in "No Free Rides" and "Bumper to Bumper," which feature a picture on the scene within a picture of the scene, infinitely repeating itself. He then files the mystery under "P" for "Puzzling."
The Curious Case of Old Man Jenkins (Episode 8)
Episode 8 focuses on Old Man Jenkins, who the detective describes as a farmer turned sailor turned cannonball (shown in "The Sponge Who Could Fly"). He then goes on to comment that further investigation revealed that nothing is as it seems with Old Man Jenkins.
- Exhibit A: Body doubles. The detective reveals that throughout his investigations, five different fish claimed to be Old Man Jenkins; the previously mentioned farmer/sailor/cannonball, a bearded fish, a jalopy-driving fish, a wheelchair-bound fish, and a short green fish. The detective questions who is the real Old Man Jenkins, and why they all claim to be Old Man Jenkins.
- Exhibit B: Suspicious behavior. The detective comments on how the Jenkins have shown suspicious behavior, and then plays a clip of "Plankton Paranoia" showing the short green Jenkins inside the Krusty Krab, and revealing how Old Man Jenkins is never seen leaving, meaning that he could have been in the Krusty Krab with the Krabby Patty secret formula overnight. A clip of "Call the Cops" reveals that the same Old Man Jenkins has somehow snuck into the Police Station's evidence room, along with the wheelchair-bound blue Old Man Jenkins. The detective questions whether the two Jenkins are evidence, or if they are destroying evidence, before wondering if all five Old Man Jenkins are working together.
- Exhibit C: Immortality. The detective then shows a clip of the past, where Mr. Krabs and Plankton were young friends working on the Krabby Patty secret formula (shown in "Friend or Foe"). The clip reveals that the bearded Old Man Jenkins was the taste tester of the boy's formula. Another clip shows the wheelchair-bound Jenkins was nearby when Mr. Krabs found his first penny, and a third clip shows that the short green Jenkins was a teacher of Mr. Krabs and Plankton when they were working on their formula. The detective notes how despite the clips being from the distant past, each Old Man Jenkins looks as old as their present day versions, hinting that the five Old Man Jenkins may be immortal.
The detective that recaps what was revealed, from the Jenkins hiding in the Krusty Krab and the evidence locker to the Jenkins seen in the distant past. He then question who these old men are, what they want with the Krabby Patty secret formula, and how do they never age. He wonders if the Jenkins themselves have a formula for immortality, before stating that while the secrets of the Jenkins are still hidden, the Jenkins are still really old.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about the Krabby Patty and how delicious it is, and then questions how the Krusty Krab gets tomatoes, onions, and lettuce when all of these ingredients are from above water. He files the mystery under "C" for "Classified," before joking that it's also "Under the Sea" due to how "C" and "Sea" are homophones.
The Chocolate Guy (Episode 9)
Episode 9 focuses on Tom, who the detective describes as a local movie star with a tragic history of butt injuries (showing Tom in the iron butt from the episode "I Had an Accident"). He then states that under Tom's perfect hair, and oddly yellow eyes, something's not right about him.
- Exhibit A: Chocolate. The detective talks about Tom's meltdown at the mention of chocolate (shown in Chocolate with Nuts). One so extreme that it scared the barnacles out of two anonymous salesmen (SpongeBob and Patrick), he then states that chocolate isn't the only food that sets him off. A clip from Pizza Delivery is shown of Tom upset about not having his Diet Dr. Kelp, the detective then questions why Tom is suddenly orange. We then see a clip from Fools in April where he freaks out about his drink, specifically only having one ice cube. Another clip, this time from "No Weenies Allowed", where he over reacts about potato salad, which according to him, took three days to make. The detective then notes that his research on many potato salad recipes indicates that none of them take three days.
- Exhibit B: Strange behavior. The detective then brings up Tom's behavior, that appears normal at first, but is much stranger upon closer inspection. Such as not moving when at a concert (in the episode Ripped Pants), and disguising his voice when working at a retirement home (in Doing Time). He then mentions that Tom was caught trying to escape from Inferno Island (shown in The Inmates of Summer), a maximum security prison where Bikini Bottom's worst criminals go. The detective mentions that while it's unknown why he was sent to prison, a background check revealed how sinister Tom really is.
- Exhibit C: Suspicious activity. The detective mentions a few of Tom's past misdeeds, such as putting a heavy drink on SpongeBob's hand in the episode "MuscleBob BuffPants". He mentions that while one may think SpongeBob's too weak to lift the glass, he shows various clips that reveal that SpongeBob is perfectly capable of lifting drinks, and mentions that lifting drinks is part of SpongeBob's job, and then question who puts a drink on top of someone's hand before stating that it's possible the Tom intentionally made the drink very heavy and put it on SpongeBob's hand. The detective then mentions that in the episode "Bubble Buddy", Tom made false accusations about Bubble Buddy, such as arson (burning crops), poisoning his water supply, and biological warfare.
The detective recaps how Tom held SpongeBob hostage, tried to frame Bubble Buddy, and read a pamphlet about evil. He states that while we may never know why Tom is so sinister, it's clear that he's crazy for chocolate.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions that if Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen was number one, why does the grave say "Smitty WerbenManJensen", instead of "Smitty WerbenJagermanJensen". He then asks if the real number 1 is Smitty WerbenManJensen, and not Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen, and wonders what connection Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen has to Smitty WerbenManJensen, and files the case under "S" for "Smitty Werben Jager Man Jensen".
Suspicious Fishes (Episode 10)
Episode 10 focuses on various "suspicious fishes."
- Exhibit A: Flats. The detective talks about Flats, who seems to have hated SpongeBob ever since he first met him. He points out that SpongeBob invited him to his Texas party, and wonders who they are trying to fool by pretending to not know each other. A clip from "Sandy's Rocket" is then played, showing SpongeBob hiding in Flats's bathroom and capturing him. The detective then questions if this was SpongeBob and Flats's first meeting.
- Exhibit B: A mysterious little girl. The detective now talks about Miss Rechid, the daughter of Norma Rechid. He questions why she is shown in Mrs. Puff's Boating School and why she looks older, suggesting that she may be a time traveler who is trying to warn her younger self about something. He comments that this raises more questions than it answers.
- Exhibit C: Dr. Manowar. The detective changes their focus to Dr. Manowar. He notices that he has the same glasses as Dr. Gill Gilliam and Purple Doctorfish, questioning if Manowar could be another disguise.
The detective still questions why Bikini Bottom has so many strange citizens, but notes that there are still many more that haven't been covered.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how SpongeBob is able to drive a rock in "Pizza Delivery" without a drivers' license or even a steering wheel. He also remembers that Rocky was able to win a race despite not being a snail. He questions if the rocks in Bikini Bottom are alive, and files the case under "W" for "wait a minute."
The Flying Dutchman (Episode 11)
Episode 11 focuses on The Flying Dutchman, who the detective describes as a notorious flirt with the ability to distort time, space, and reality itself.
- Exhibit A: Suspicious origins. The detective talks about the Flying Dutchman's origin of being used as a window display upon death, and haunting the sea due to never being put to rest. But then the detective wonders whether or not the story is true, and see two problems with it. #1 The detective states that he's not convinced that being used as a fashion display would even upset the Dutchman, saying that he is evidenced to actually love fashion, like how he's obsessed with his Dining Sock, always carries his name brand SOULS bag, is precious about his beard, and even has a perfume department onboard his ship. #2 the Dutchman has contradicted this origin story, when picking out the shirt he was buried in from his closet. The detective wonders how the Flying Dutchman could've been buried in said shirt if he was supposedly never buried at all. He then asks if the origin story is just a lie used to justify the Dutchman's horrific deeds
- Exhibit B: Davy Jones. The detective then mentions that the Dutchman works for Davy Jones, as his job is to take people to Davy Jones' Locker. He then wonders where Davy is, and why there are so many socks in the locker. After the Dutchman states that Davy Jones works out a lot, the detective then reveals that Davy Jones was last sighted in the Flying Dutchman's closet as a skeleton. He then ask who the socks really belong to. He makes the connection that they are actually the Dutchman's since he loves socks, has a bunch of socks in Davy Jones' Locker, and Davy Jones is a skeleton in his closet. The detective subsequently asks what kind of sicko would go this far just for storage space for his socks, coming to the conclusion of a lonely sicko.
- Exhibit C: Crippling loneliness. The detective mentions that SpongeBob has met the Dutchman over ten times, and then asks the audience how many encounters with powerful undead ghostly psychopomps they've had in their life, and then ask if they even know what a psychopomp is before showing the definition of psychopomp onscreen (a guide of souls to the place of the dead). He then mentions that the Dutchman goes out of his way to hang out with SpongeBob, such as showing up to teach him to tie knots, dropping his anchor on SpongeBob's house, supposedly by accident, and trying to make SpongeBob part of his ghostly crew. He asks if it's a coincidence, or if it's possible that the Dutchman isn't so evil, that he simply wants a friend. He then asks "what good is eternity on a ghost ship if you have no one to share it with?, What good is your own personal perfume department, if there's no one to comment on how good you smell? And what good's a dining sock if you're dining alone?" He states that behind all the horrifying imagery, scary stories, and implications of foul play, the Flying Dutchman might just be a lonely pirate looking for a friend.
The detective states that while we may never know the truth, but then gets interrupted by Patrick and gives up.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about the eyelash sweater SpongeBob made Squidward, but realizes it's actually SpongeBob's eyebrows that are missing, and that he only had six eyelashes, and then asks what the sweater is really made of. Then we see the sweater of tears, causing the detective to ask how SpongeBob can make a sweater out of water if he's already underwater, he then files it under "W" for "Why don't you just make a normal sweater?"
Lou, the Sick, Vicious Fish! (Episode 12)
Episode 12 focuses on Lou, who the narrator describes him as a person who would go anywhere to make a buck.
- Exhibit A: Ambition. The detective discusses Lou's many jobs, such as selling hot dogs, working at the Barg'N-Mart, and selling drinks outside Goo Lagoon.
- Exhibit B: Freebies. The detective talks about how Lou's customers are never seen paying, and an aerial shot showing his ice cream cart being empty. He questions how Lou is making money.
- Exhibit C: Profiteering. The detective suggests that Lou is profiting off disasters, such as supporting an angry mob and selling fish sticks made from spectators of The Fry Cook Games.
The detective concludes by once again saying that we may never solve this mystery, but that he does know to not buy Lou's fish sticks.
Bonus Mystery: The detective points out that the Dirty Bubble, despite being Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch-nemesis, does not seem to be evil, such as participating in book clubs and wearing hats. He files the case under F for "free the Dirty Bubble."
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! (Episode 13)
Episode 13 focuses on Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. The detective points out how the two of them, now retired, are renowned heroes who have a history of protecting Bikini Bottom from supervillains time and time again, but then raises the question of whether they are actually masterminds of a decades-long conspiracy that involves mind control and criminal collusion.
- Exhibit A: Fading Fame. The detective explains that between merchandise, adoring fans, and TV shows, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are no strangers to fame, but it isn't enough to satisfy them. He accuses them of being glory hounds and points out that they've gotten themselves yet another TV reboot, demanded a "living legends" discount from the Krusty Krab, and even teamed up with Man Ray to star in a Krusty Krab commercial just to be on TV again. The detective questions how far Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy will go to keep their fame from fading, and wonders if they'll turn to villainy to achieve this aspiration.
- Exhibit B: Hypnosis. The detective questions what the M on Mermaid Man's belt really stands for. He proposes that it could stand for "mind control", considering Mermaid Man is known to have the ability to control minds. The detective then brings up some times in which Mermaid Man used his mind control powers to force people to do things like attack SpongeBob and Patrick or eat at the Chum Bucket. The detective wonders if there are any other ways the crime-fighting duo broadcasts their messages, and brings up hypnosis. He points out that the intro of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy TV show has a swirling screen, and urges the audience to look away from it. Next, the detective deduces that if Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have a captive audience, then it could be that they also have captive enemies.
- Exhibit C: Illusion. The detective states that there is evidence that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy don't just fight evil; they enable it. He explains how Man Ray, the heroes' worst enemy, is always in peak physical condition because Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy preserve him in tartar sauce, and they also utilize the Tickle Belt to keep him under control. The detective concludes that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, despite having the ability to stop Man Ray from doing any harm, allow him to do so anyway just so they can play the role of the heroes. The detective then moves on to the Dirty Bubble, theorizing that he is under the duo's employment. He points out that the Dirty Bubble regenerates from the Dirty Bubble Wand, which Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have in their possession.
The detective concludes his case by stating that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are actually evil puppeteers who unleash their enemies on the city just so they can have something to do.
Bonus Mystery: The detective points out that the Krusty Krab is famous for its Krabby Patties, but points out one item on the menu that stands out from the rest: the Golden Loaf. He questions what a Golden Loaf is, how it's made, what it tastes like, if it has real gold in it, why it only costs $2, and why it's even on the menu. He then files the mystery under J for "Just Order a Krabby Patty."
Perch Perkins After Teevee Fame (Episode 14)
Episode 14 focuses on Perch Perkins, who the detective describes as the "comforting constant voice of his community". But then wonders if there's something ugly under his cheerful exterior
- Exhibit A: A changed fish. The detective recalls Perch's old job as a sports announcer, and how he was a little absent minded, saying it was part of his "folksy charm", and lists the changes he made when he moved to news reports. Like how he slicked and shellacked his hair, changed the color of his scales from green, to orange, then purple, had plastic surgery to make his chin smoother, and got his rough dorsal fin removed, and then mentions that he didn't just change on the outside.
- Exhibit B: Spoiled Fish. The detective wonders if Perch has gotten an ego, and states how he'll stomp off his own set, only wears a blazer (and not pants) because that's all the camera shows, will yank the microphone away from his interviewees, shove subjects out of frame, calls his viewers "bottom feeders", calls his guests "know-it-alls", and shame Squidward for invited a mirror to a gallery opening, and then wonders if Perch is in a total downward spiral.
- Exhibit C: Floundering. The detective states how Perch has gone from a hotdog eater at Goo Lagoon to a culinary king maker, million dollar mobile, Krabby conspiracy whistle blower, and even reporting news in New Kelp City. But then asks if he's going insane, due to leaping into the highly polluted Goo Lagoon mid-broadcast, which is not normal, and sleeping in a dumpster. He then questions if this is a plea for publicity, or a cry for help, wondering if going back to being a sports announcer is enough to help Perch regain his sanity.
The detective then questions who Perch Perkins really is, a smooth smarmy newscaster, a demanding diva, an off the rails reporter barely holding it together, or just a hometown hero in headphones yearning for the simple life.
Bonus Mystery: The Detective points out that Mr. Krabs calls plankton a shrimp when a shrimp is as big as a fish. So Why would Mr. Krabs call plankton, whos tiny, a shrimp, when a shrimp is big. He asks if the Shrimp is a jumbo shrimp, and if normal sized shrimp are Plankton's size. He files the case under S for "Show us more shrimp"
Norma the Abnormal! (Episode 15)
Episode 15 focuses on Norma Rechid, who the detective states follows the latest fads, has many jobs, and shows up to Bikini Bottom's coolest events, before asking if there's something abnormal about her.
- Exhibit A: On edge. The detective discusses how Norma seems mild mannered on the outside, but is hysterical on the inside. He talks about her panicking about a monster, which seems reasonable, but mentions that she overreacts about a squirrel, a snail, the latest dance craze, and SpongeBob's tan, before wondering if she has something to hide.
- Exhibit B: Cold-blooded. The detective talks about how Norma seems cheerful and charming, giving out free cookies, hosting a hug fest, and having a sweet tooth, but then brings up how her "care" as a nurse brought Plankton disguised as Gary from healthy, to bandaged and bed ridden. He also mentions how unsanitary her tools are, before asking if these are innocent errors, or a cover for something crueler, possibly having ice in her veins. The detective then mentions how Norma attacked SpongeBob while acting scared, by ramming him with her baby carriage, and then stomped him into the dirt, as well as stealing food from her own baby, asking if it's for personal gain, or her own entertainment.
- Exhibit C: Appetite for agony. The detective reveals that Norma has a front row seat for every event, even suffering, such as Mr. Krabs burying himself alive, Squidward getting his face slammed by a metal door. Even seeking out a snack while waiting for Patrick Star to get mauled! The last thing that's mentioned is Norma (despite being a nurse) does nothing to help Andy Yellowtail when he's choking on the Nasty Patty, as if it's a show for her.
Then detective then asks if Norma is just a skittish socialite, or a connaisseur of cruelty, he then says while we may never know, it's clear that Norma is anything but normal.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Krabby Patties are made fresh to order, and don't age well, and the according to the sacred fry cook oath "That which is fried must be eaten". Asking how and why there is a Patty vault full of juicy Krabby Patties in perfect condition. Wondering if the vault is preserving them, and the reason for stock piling them if they're made to order, and if SpongeBob has broken his oath. He then files it under "U" for "Unlock the vault"
One Way to Rock Bottom (Episode 16)
The Shady Miss Shell! (Episode 17)
- Episode 4 reveals that Nat Peterson lives in a trailer park (whereas before it just showed a single trailer).
- Episode 8 and on replaces the Nickelodeon logo with a SpongeBob SquarePants logo, due to it being aired on a different channel.
- The theme music to the show is Duck and Undercover by Peter McConnell, and the opening theme is Are We There Yet by Billie Ray Fingers, Bruce Fingers, and Bobby Tahouri. Part of the Program by Joshua Klein also plays in the show.
- Episodes, including the ones past episode ten, can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/BikiniBottomMysteries/episodes/?ref=page_internal
- Man Ray's name is misspelled as "Manray" in the captions for Episode 12.
- The show sometimes identifies certain characters by color.