The Automatic Back Scratcher, Hair Comber, Nose Picker, and Ukulele Tuner 9000 is an invention created by SpongeBob and Patrick. It appears in the episode "Chimps Ahoy."


This invention appears to be worn out, as it has a patch on it. It also has a small chair at the bottom and has "Dr. Professor Patrick Patrick Rulez!" written on it. There is a seat at the bottom for the patient to sit in.


  • Scratches backs
  • Picks noses
  • Combs hair
  • Tunes one's ukulele
  • Feeds one "delicious" pudding

Role in episode

Lord Reginald, one of the chimps, is the first person to try it out. The machine works at first, but has many malfunctions. After the bosses find something else to take, Sandy and her friends are left to decide what to do with the "contraption."

Patrick decides to use it on himself. He finds it torturing but exciting.


  • During its malfunction, the machine has the following features:
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