This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants interactive short "Ask Patrick Anything," which aired on November 30, 2014.

  • Narrator: Ask Patrick Anything!
  • [Patrick's rock appears and Patrick comes out]
  • Narrator: You can ask this sincere sea star and his magic rock anything, and he'll certainly have an answer for you.
  • Patrick: Yes sir! Just like a genie!
  • Narrator: Let's try together. Patrick, is tomorrow going to be a good day?
  • [the rock closes and shakes]
  • [Patrick comes out again]
  • Patrick: [says yes repeatedly]
  • Narrator: Told ya. He knows everything.
  • Narrator: Now you think of a question. That's right. You. Any question, got it? Ask now!
  • [the rock closes and shakes]
  • [Patrick comes out again]
  • Patrick: My head is saying yes, but my tummy is saying no. And I always trust my tummy, so, no.
  • Narrator: There's your answer. But before another question, ask Pat!
  • [the rock closes and shakes]
  • [Patrick comes out again]
  • Patrick: You'll find the answer in your heart. Or, is it butt?
  • Narrator: Hmm, probably not the answer you expected. Now viewer, think of a really big question. Ready, Set, Ask!
  • [The rock closes and shakes]
  • Narrator: What say you now, all seeing Patrick?
  • [Patrick comes out again]
  • Patrick: I have one answer, and one answer only. [whispering] Applesauce.
  • Narrator: Umm, Patrick, wanna try that again?
  • Patrick: Ask later. I'm busy.
  • Narrator: Umm, that was... Ask Patrick Anything!
  • Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
  • Narrator: They certainly are, Patrick. They certainly are.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.