This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants interactive short "Ask Patrick Anything," which aired on November 30, 2014.
- Narrator: Ask Patrick Anything!
- [Patrick's rock appears and Patrick comes out.]
- Narrator: You can ask this sincere sea star and his magic rock anything, and he'll certainly have an answer for you.
- Patrick: Yes sir! Just like a genie!
- Narrator: Let's try together. Patrick, is tomorrow going to be a good day?
- [The rock closes and shakes. Patrick comes out again.]
- Patrick: [says yes repeatedly]
- Narrator: Told ya. He knows everything.
- Narrator: Now you think of a question. That's right. You. Any question, got it? Ask now!
- [The rock closes and shakes. Patrick comes out again.]
- Patrick: My head is saying yes, but my tummy is saying no. And I always trust my tummy, so, no.
- Narrator: There's your answer. But before another question, ask Pat!
- [The rock closes and shakes. Patrick comes out again.]
- Patrick: You'll find the answer in your heart. Or, is it butt?
- Narrator: Hmm, probably not the answer you expected. Now viewer, think of a really big question. Ready, Set, Ask!
- [The rock closes and shakes.]
- Narrator: What say you now, all seeing Patrick?
- [Patrick comes out again.]
- Patrick: I have one answer, and one answer only. [whispering] Applesauce.
- Narrator: Umm, Patrick, wanna try that again?
- Patrick: Ask later. I'm busy.
- Narrator: Umm, that was... Ask Patrick Anything!
- Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
- Narrator: They certainly are, Patrick. They certainly are.