- Patrick Star
The narrator begins the short by saying, "Ask Patrick anything!" He then explains that the viewer can ask Patrick any question and that he will have an answer. He gives an example by asking if the following day will be a good day. Patrick replies "Yes" and the narrator tells the viewer to ask Patrick questions.
The first question the viewer asks will have him saying "No," but as it progresses, the answers get stranger until Patrick answers "Applesauce" on the third question. Afterwards, the narrator asks if Patrick would like to try again, but he tells him to ask later because he is busy.
The narrator ends by saying "That was Ask Patrick Anything!" Patrick says that the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma and the narrator agrees to say that they certainly are.
- In this short, Patrick is a parody of the Magic 8-Ball and the Magic Conch Shell.
- Patrick says "Just like a genie!" in "Christmas Who?"
- The last thing Patrick says is a quote from "The Secret Box," which has also become an Internet meme.
- "The machinations of my mind are an enigma!," which precedes a thought bubble of a carton of milk being tipped over in reference to the spilled milk idiom.