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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Merry Nickmas short "A Chuckie Finster Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, Winter Solstice," which aired on December 4, 2002.

  • Rugrats: Christmas, Channukah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice time is here! [Tommy Pickles and Chuckie Finster walk outside and lean on the fence after Spike grabs Angelica, Phil, Lil and Dil.]
  • Chuckie: Oh, I think there must be something wrong with me, Thomas!
  • Tommy: Diaper rash?
  • Chuckie: Nope. Our Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, and Winter Solstice are coming, But I'm not happy! [both walk away from the fence.] I just don't understand Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, and Winter Solstice, I guess. I like getting presents, sending cards and decorating trees, and spinning dreidels, and eating chocolate money, and having a harvest, feast, and brushing-- [The short title fades in. Cut to everyone in the play pen inside and dancing like the Peanuts characters.]
  • Angelica: Alright, you stupid babies! Chuckie will be here in a second with our decorations. [notices Spike is imitating her and gets mad. Cuts to Chuckie.]
  • Chuckie: OK, guys. I got a tree, a menorah, and corn. But I still got one question: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, Winter Solstice is all about?
  • Tommy: Hey, man, there's no need to yell. Uh, sure, Chuckie Finster, I can tell you. Ahem. Lights please! [spotlight shines on the carpet] And there were, in the same country, people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and cultures. What ho! This shall be unto you a time of joy, peace on Earth, and good will towards peoples.
  • Angelica: You blockhead! It's about the presents! Lots of presents!
  • Rugrats: Yay, presents! Happy Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, and Winter Solstice, Chuckie Finster!
  • Voiceover: The Chuckie Finster Christmas, Channukah, Kwaanza, Winter Solstice special was brought to you by Dork Krabby Mint Patty. [Cuts to a parody of the York peppermint patty commercial]
  • Mr. Krabs: When I bite into a Dork Krabby Mint Patty, I get the sensation of swimming in money! Piles and piles of it! [takes a bite as money rains down. He laughs. Cut to Nickelodeon logo.]
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