Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Two Thumbs Down" from season 9, which aired on March 12, 2016.

  • [The episode starts with SpongeBob and Patrick about to thumb wrestle.]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: One, two, three, four...
  • Patrick: I declare a thumb war! [they both thumb wrestle]
  • Patrick: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: Yah!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughter]
  • Patrick: Now that was a great thumb war, mister!
  • SpongeBob: It was Patrick, but now we will let peace prevail. Let us sign this treaty, and our thumbs will live in harmony.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [they sign the treaty with their thumbs] [start laughing]
  • SpongeBob: Great job, Patrick! [SpongeBob gives Patrick two thumbs-up, one from each hand]
  • Patrick: Gee, thanks, SpongeBob. That means a lot!
  • SpongeBob: Wow, giving someone a thumbs-up feels great!
  • [cut to the Krusty Krab]
  • Customer: Boy, these Krabby Patties are delicious.
  • Other customer: I'll say. They're absolutely stupendous.
  • SpongeBob: Well, you guys are stupendous customers. [SpongeBob gives the customer two thumbs-up.]
  • Customer: [gasps] That thumbs-up really touched my heart.
  • Other customer: Yeah, me too. It's like there's a thumbprint of happiness on my aorta. [heart thumps]
  • SpongeBob: Flipping.
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you shifty sea-slacker, have you counted the cups like I told to do?
  • SpongeBob: I sure have, Mr. Krabs. Five. But thanks for being on top of the situation. You're a fantastic boss. [SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs one thumbs-up.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, thank you. That's nice of you to say. Now back to work!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs one thumbs-up.]
  • SpongeBob: ... [SpongeBob gives Old lady one thumbs-up]
  • Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob, do you have one of your precious thumbs-up for me? I would just love to get one. [snickers]
  • SpongeBob: No, Squidward, I do not have a thumbs-up for you.
  • SpongeBob: I've got two thumbs-up! [SpongeBob gives Squidward two thumbs-up.]
  • Squidward: Oh. That's... thank you. I think.
  • SpongeBob: [whistling] Whoo!
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy, I'm giving your outfit two thumbs-up. [SpongeBob gives Sandy two thumbs-up.]
  • Sandy: [giggles] This old thing? It's just something I threw on.
  • SpongeBob: Well, girl, you really make it work. [SpongeBob gives Sandy one thumbs-up.]
  • Sandy: Okay.
  • Driver: Excuse me, I'm trying to find the Goo Lagoon and I'm totally lost.
  • SpongeBob: Great job on not being afraid to ask for directions. [SpongeBob gives Driver two thumbs-up.]
  • Driver: Hm... that way? Okay.
  • SpongeBob: You got the right stuff, golden boys. [SpongeBob kisses his two thumbs-up.]
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, don't you think that you may be using the thumbs-up just a teensy bit too much?
  • SpongeBob: Are you kidding? [SpongeBob put his one thumbs-up on Sandy's helmet.]
  • SpongeBob: The thumbs-up is an iconic, internationally-recognized sign of positivity and affirmation. Boop!
  • Sandy: Yeah, I know. But when you do it all the time the thumbs-up loses its meaning. It becomes not special.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I happen to think you can never give too many thumbs-up. [SpongeBob put his many thumbs-up.]
  • Sandy: I don't know, SpongeBob. I think you should be careful.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy, don't be such a worry whale.
  • SpongeBob: What could do wrong? [SpongeBob put his two thumbs-up.] [humming]
  • SpongeBob: Ah. [SpongeBob blows his two thumbs-up] Whoo, I'm giving away thumbs-up today.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, guy. Way to wait. [SpongeBob gives Fish Guy two thumbs-up.]
  • Fish Guy : Who, me?
  • SpongeBob: [SpongeBob put his left thumbs-up on his mouth makes gives Fish Guy big one right thumbs-up.]
  • Fish Guy: Yeah... [whistling]
  • SpongeBob: [SpongeBob gives Fish Guy one thumbs-up]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, guy. Way to walk. [SpongeBob gives Fish Guy two thumbs-up.]
  • Fish Guy: [whimpers] [thud]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, this feels great.
  • SpongeBob: Way to flick that eye booger-- [SpongeBob gives Other Fish Guy two thumbs-up.] [His thumbs snap, then a live-action footage of trains crashing shows, with a new live action footage every time his thumbs snap, followed by a bridge falling apart, a tree falling, a crow, and a baby crying. Eventually, SpongeBob breaks his thumbs]
  • Thumbhawk two: Thumbhawk one. Thumbhawk one. This is Thumbhawk two. We got two thumbs down. Repeat. Two thumbs down!
  • Thumbhawk one: Thumbhawk one here, copy that. Initiate emergency procedures.
  • Thumbhawk two: Initiating on my count. Three, two, one.
  • Thumbhawk one and two: [Screaming]
  • SpongeBob: My thumbs. My thumbs! My thumbs![everyone gathers around SpongeBob in shock]
  • (later at the hospital)
  • SpongeBob: How's it looking, Dr. Manfish?
  • Dr. Manfish: Well, I'm afraid it doesn't look good, SpongeBob. It seems you've severely damaged your ulnar collateral ligament, possible from some kind of repeated action.
  • SpongeBob: An action like a thumbs-up?
  • Dr. Manfish: Certainly that is one possibility. Hitchhiking could be another.
  • SpongeBob: But doctor, I will be able to use my thumbs again, right?
  • Dr. Manfish: [Dr. Manfish takes both his eye lenses off.] SpongeBob, I can't say that for certain. I'm only a board certified thumbologist. I don't know everything. I can only say that we must give it time and see. There are limits to science. But you should prepare yourself for the possibility that you may never regain the use of your thumbs again. [Dr. Manfish put his right eye lenses on.]
  • [Thumb coughs]
  • (scene changes to the Krusty Krab)
  • Mr. Krabs: All right, you boneless invertebrate lazy bones... [chuckles] Come on. Flip them patties, boy-o, just like the old days.
  • SpongeBob: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs.
  • Squidward: Uh, let me give you a hand. My thumbs work.
  • SpongeBob: No! I can do it. [groans]
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, son, but I have a business to run. I'm gonna have to let you go.
  • SpongeBob: That's okay, Mr. Krabs. I understand.
  • Mr. Krabs: Now where's me new fry cook? [Patrick Appears] There he is. Come on in here.
  • Patrick: Uh, sorry, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm glad it's you. Better than some weird stranger, right?
  • Patrick: Uh, yeah, I guess. I probably won't even be able to do good flipping.
  • SpongeBob: With a little practice, you could do anything. [SpongeBob holds both his broken thumbs-up] [groan] Oh...
  • All: [gasp]
  • SpongeBob: OI' Patty flippin' patties. Who'd a' thunk it, huh?
  • Customer: Poor kid.
  • [cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street] ♪Thumbs are opposable, thumbs are great. We share 'em with the monkeys and with the apes. You can grab, you can tie, you can pinch a cheek. But without your thumbs you're all thumbs. All thumbs, no thumbs, busted up your thumbs. Sucking on your pinky will sure look dumb. You can never hitch a ride or pull out a plum. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs. All thumbs, no thumbs, fells like a crime. Can't pull up a zipper or flip a dime. And forget about chopsticks you'll starve every time. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs. Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs.♪
  • Sandy: [cuts to inside SpongeBob's pineapple] SpongeBob! It's me, Sandy! [opens the door] Hey SpongeBob! I haven't seen you in days, whatcha doin'?
  • SpongeBob: Waiting for autumn.
  • Sandy: Come now, it can't be that bad!
  • SpongeBob: Leave me Sandra, forget you ever knew me! Erase from your memory the face of this useless sponge! With these...[shows his thumbs which appear to be nailed in to a piece of wood]...mutilated thumbs!
  • Sandy: [gasps] Don't give up SpongeBob! You have to find something you love! Something to live for!
  • SpongeBob: And what might that be?
  • Sandy: [shakes her head] I don't know SpongeBob! That's a question you have to answer for yourself. [leaves SpongeBob's pineapple]
  • SpongeBob: Sandy? Sandy! Sandy come back! [gets out a jar of peanut butter] I need you to help me open this jar of peanut butter! [tries to open the jar, fails, and starts crying] Enough sitting around feeling sorry for myself! [Cut to the Hospital, where SpongeBob tries to tear off the bandages on one of his thumbs, and succeeds. Then he lifts a barbell with the other one. He then tries to use the controller while playing a game, which was actually a heart monitor for a patient, who moves in weird positions. SpongeBob brings up his thumbs, and he nods] [cut to the Krusty Krab kitchen, where Patrick is cooking Krabby Patties]
  • Patrick: Uhhhhhh, turn over. [SpongeBob enters the kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: My thumbs are better and I am ready to work!
  • Patrick: The job's taken.
  • SpongeBob: Well I'm taking it back.
  • Patrick: Just how are you gonna do that?
  • SpongeBob: [tears up treaty] Thumb war.
  • Patrick: [holds up his thumb] En garde!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war! [SpongeBob and Patrick play thumb war and do it while walking in the restaurant. Eventually, once they walk on a ledge, they lose their balance and SpongeBob is hanging on Patrick's hand. Then a piece of the ledge breaks off due to Patrick's weight.]
  • Patrick: Admit it! You have been bested!
  • SpongeBob: Never! [they land on a customer's table, and Patrick eats the Krabby Patty]
  • Patrick: Then prepare to be pinned!
  • Sandy: Don't give up! Something to live for! [gives SpongeBob the thumbs-up]
  • Customers: Something to live for! [they all give SpongeBob the thumbs-up]
  • Customers: Woooaaahh! [SpongeBob pins Patrick and wins the thumb war!]
  • SpongeBob: Yeeeaaahh!
  • Sandy: SpongeBob wins! [she and the crowd cheer]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you old patty junkie! Welcome home son! [SpongeBob glances at Patrick]
  • Patrick: It's okay, I hate work anyway. [everyone laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Oh Patrick!
  • Patrick: No really, I do hate work! [everyone laughs even harder, even Patrick starts laughing] Everybody's laughing! Oh hey SpongeBob, I got something for ya!
  • SpongeBob: Yes Patrick?
  • [Patrick gives SpongeBob two thumbs-ups, as well as SpongeBob. The crowd cheers, SpongeBob's and Patrick's thumbs launch into the air, and explode into a big "THE END" and the episode ends]
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