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Artikel ini merupakan transkrip dari episode SpongeBob SquarePants yang berjudul "Club SpongeBob" dari musim tiga yang pertama kali ditayangkan pada 12 Juli 2002.

Bahasa Indonesia

  • [adegan dimulai saat Squidward bersiap keluar rumah dan membunyikan nada selagi keluar rumah]
  • Squidward: Kita mulai. [Squidward mengendarai sepedanya menutuju tempat bekerja, sementara itu SpongeBob dan Patrick tertawa di atas saung milik klub mereka]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [tertawa kecil]
  • SpongeBob: Kita berhasil. Itu Widward!
  • Squidward: Apa?
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: [tertawa]
  • SpongeBob: Widward pergi bekerja.
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: [tertawa]
  • Squidward: [menggerutu]
  • Patrick: Ke mana dia bekerja? Apa itu Wusty Wab?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [tertawa]
  • Squidward: Kalian bicara apa? Apa semacam kode rahasia?
  • SpongeBob: Kami tidak bisa memberitahumu sebab kau bukan anggota klub.
  • Squidward: Oh, ya? Apa syarat menjadi anggota, selain bodoh? [tertawa] Bodoh... [tertawa kembali] itu syaratnya. [tertawa lagi]
  • SpongeBob: Maaf, Squidward, kau tidak bisa masuk meskipun kau berusaha!
  • Squidward: Hah? Aku ingin ingin kalian tahu kalau aku sudah menjadi anggota 20 klub eksklusif yang tersebar di seluruh lautan!
  • Patrick: [berbisik pada SpongeBob] Dia bilang apa?
  • SpongeBob: [berbisik pada Patrick] Entah. Mungkin tentang hidungnya?
  • Patrick: [mengeluarkan kepalanya dari saung dan berteriak pada Squidward] Squidward, kau dan hidungmu pasti tidak akan muat di dalam sini!
  • Squidward: Oh, apa yang kalian berdua tahu soal masuk ke dalam? [melempar topi kerjanya dan memanjat pohon untuk masuk ke dalam saung] Kenapa aku harus memohon untuk bergabung!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Jangan! Stop, Squidward! Kau tidak boleh bergabung! Squidward! Kau tidak bisa masuk, Squidward!
  • [Squidward menggerutu setelah masuk ke dalam saung]
  • Squidward: Ini konyol. Tidak ada ruangan di sini!
  • Patrick: Kami 'kan sudah berusaha memberitahumu!
  • SpongeBob: Kami sudah terjebak di sini selama tiga hari.
  • Patrick: Tadi kami sudah bilang kau tidak akan muat.
  • Squidward: [kesal]
  • SpongeBob: Tapi karena kau sudah di sini, kami akan memberikan sambutan sebagai anggota baru. Apa kau siap, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Siap!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [bernyanyi] Selamat datang di klub! Selamat datang di klub! Selamat datang Squidward! Selamat datang Squidward!
  • Squidward: Berhenti kalian, orang-orang bodoh! [menurut mulut SpongeBob dan Patrick, lalu keluar dari saung dan menarik dahan pohon sehingga dapat keluar dari saung] Aku tidak mau, atau aku tidak akan tahu kalau untuk menjadi anggota klubmu yang bodoh ini![ia hampir kembali ke darat, namun dahan terputus sehingga membuat saung terpental, Squidward berteriak]
  • Nancy: Wah!
  • Frank: Minta permohonan, sayang.
  • [Squidward terus berteriak hingga saung itu mendarat di Hutan Kelp]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Lagi! Oh, ya! Lagi![mereka memekik]
  • Squidward: Oh, tidak. Itu tidak akan terjadi. Aku mohon katakan padaku ini tidak akan terjadi!
  • Patrick: Apa yang terjadi?
  • [SpongeBob mengangkat bahu. Squidward berlari di sekitar saung]
  • Squidward: Di mana kita? Kita tersesat! Tidak ada jalan keluar! Terjebak di entah di mana bersama SpongeBob... Patrick!
  • [SpongeBob dan Patrick menepuk Squidward yang mulai menangis]
  • Squidward: Oh, kenapa setiap 11 menit dalam hidupku aku harus berisi penderitaan? Kenapa?
  • SpongeBob: Jangan sedih, Squidward. Ini bisa bertambah buruk, loh.
  • Patrick: Iya. Kamu bisa botak dan hidungmu bertambah besar.
  • [kamera mengarah ke Squidawrd yang kepalanya menyusut]
  • Squidward: Ini, adalah kiamat. [kepala Squidawrd jatuh]
  • SpongeBob: Belum, ini belum kiamat, Squidward.
  • Patrick: [membuat peti mati] Belum?
  • SpongeBob: Ayolah, teman-teman, kita akan baik-baik saja! [mengangkat kembali kepala Squidawrd] Selama kita bersama. Ingat, kita satu klub!
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: [memekik kembali]
  • SpongeBob: Lagipula kita 'kan punya ini, ini! [mengambil Kulit Kerang Ajaib dari kantung celananya]
  • Squidward: Apa itu?
  • Patrick: Uuuu! Kulit Kerang Ajaib! Ayo tanya! Ayo tanya!
  • SpongeBob: Kulit Kerang Ajaib, apa aku bisa menikah? Ayo katakan![menarik tali Kulit Kerang Ajaib]
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Mungkin suatu hari.
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: [tertawa kecil] Oooohhhh!
  • Squidward: Kau pasti bercanda! Itu hanya mainan yang bodoh! Bagaimana mungkin dia bisa menolong kita?
  • SpongeBob: [kaget]Squidward, jangan pernah meragukan keajaiban Kerang Ajaib. Klub selalu meminta sarannya sebelum kita melakukan sesuatu.
  • Patrick: Kerang Ajaib tahu semuanya!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Kulit Kerang Ajaib, apa yang harus kami lakukan supaya bisa keluar dari hutan ini?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak ada.
  • Patrick: Kerang sudah bicara!
  • Squidward: Tidak ada?! Kita tidak bisa diam di sini tanpa berbuat apa-apa!
  • [SpongeBob dan Patrick duduk diam tidak melakukan apa-apa]
  • Squidward: [menggerutu] Aku tidak percaya kalian berdua minta nasihat dari sebuah mainan!
  • [SpongeBob dan Patrick masih duduk diam tidak melakukan apa-apa]
  • Squidward: [geram] Baik! Baik! Aku tidak butuh bantuanmu. Aku akan mencari jalan keluar untuk kembali ke peradaban! [mulai berjalan mengelilingi hutan]Tapi kenapa kalian badut menyedihkan tidak menangis padahal tenda sirkus kalian sudah roboh! Badut sedih... [tertawa] sedih... [tertawa kembali] badut. [tertawa kembali. Adegan berlanjut ketika ia berlari karena takut sesuatu] Apa itu? Aku siap? Kemana aku harus menuju? Aku tersesat![tersandung dan terjatuh] Oh... Aku benar-benar tersesat! Aku takkan bisa keluar dari sini! [melihat cahaya] Hah? [menuju cahaya sembari tertawa] Aku bebas! Terimalah itu, SpongeBob dan Patrick! [mengangkat kepalan tangannya ke udara, namun ia ternyata berada di dekat SpongeBob dan Patrick] Hah? Oh... [jatuh ke tanah] tidak ada jalan keluar dari sini. [adegan beralih ke SpongeBob dan Patrick masih tidak melakukan apa-apa. Tongkat dilemparkan ke kepala Patrick. Squidward menaruh panci di atas api] Bagaimana keadaan di luar sana, Klub Otak Kerang? Mmm-mmm-mmm. Aku lapar. Aku ingin tahu apa menu untuk Klub Squidward malam ini? [menginjak kumbang] Ah... [meletakkan bug di atas panci dan berjalan ke SpongeBob dan melambai-lambaikan wajan di atas hidungnya] Baunyak enak bukan, SpongeBob? Kau tidak makan selama berhari-hari. [menuju ke Patrick] Bagaimana denamu, Patrick? Anak gemuk harus makan. Baiklah, kau tidak akan mendapatkannya. [menjauhi Patrick] Dan kau tahu kenapa, SpongeBob? Karena presiden klubmu adalah sebuah kerang! [menggoyangkan bokongnya ke wajah SpongeBob] Jika kau mendengarkan aku kau akan mendapatkan makanan, tempat bernaung, dan api yang menghangatkan. Tapi kau malah mendengarkan kerang bicara... [kembali ke Klub Squidward] yang ucapannya tidak ada gunanya! Memangnya pemecahan masalahmu turun dari langit begitu saja? [tertawa] Turun dari langit! [kemara kemudian menyoroti sebuah pesawat yang akan jatuh]
  • Scooter: Kawan, kita jatuh dari langit! Kita harus jatuhkan beban! [menekan tombol "Drop the Load" button. Persediaan untuk piknik jatuh di tempat SpongeBob dan Patrick berdiam diri]
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: Puja Kerang Ajaib! [memekik. Squidward menatap kaget dan kumbang itu bangkit dan memukulnya dengan tongkat. SpongeBob dan Patrick kemudian memakan makanan yang jatuh dari langit itu. SpongeBob makan dua hamburger. Patrick makan kalkun utuh dalam satu gigitan. SDi adegan berikutnya, ketika SpongeBob dan Patrick minum, SpongeBob meminum sekaleng soda dan Patrick minum sebotol saus tomat. Mereka tertawa]
  • Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob... banyak sekali makanan yang bisa kau dapatkan di sini.
  • SpongeBob: Ini hadiah dari Kerang Ajaib.
  • Squidward: Semuanya tampak enak. kaget] Oh! Sosis panggang! Kesukaanku! [menciumnya, tetapi Patrick mengisapnya dan juga hidung Squidward. Dia menarik hidungnya keluar] Uh, hei, uh, [tertawa] SpongeBob, kau tahu, tadi itu aku hanya bercanda saja, dan, a-am-maksudku, aku masih bagian dari klub, 'kan? E-e-selagi satu klub kita harus bersatu dan, dan, ke-ke... [tergagap] [Sementara dia mengatakan semua ini, SpongeBob memakan kue dan minum segelas jus jeruk]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward?
  • Squidward: Umm... ya?
  • SpongeBob: Sekali anggota, tetap anggota, kan?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [bersulang] Anggota klub! [memekik]
  • Squidward: Ya. [ikut memekik, namun terkesan setengah hati] Permisi sebentar, ya? [berjalan ke meja yang penuh makanan] Apa yang kuharus makan duluan? Spageti, kalkun, sup, daging kaleng?
  • SpongeBob: Kenapa kamu tidak tanya pada Kerang Ajaib, Squidward? Ayo.
  • Squidward: Oh, iya. Itu akan terjadi. Setelah aku konsultasi pada Kuku Jari Ajaib... Eh?
  • [SpongeBob dan Patrick menarik meja dari hadapan Squidward dan menghalanginya]
  • SpongeBob: [terpukau] Squidward, apa kau masih meragukan kekuasaan dari Kerang Ajaib ini? Keranglah yang memberi kita hidangan ini. Hak cipta kerang ini adalah landasan organisasi kita.
  • Patrick: [berbisik] Mungkin dia bukan saudara.
  • [SpongeBob memandang Squidward dengan mata lebar]
  • Squidward: [terkekeh] Hei, hei, kalian, kalian salah. Aku suka dengan, dengan plastik. [mengambil Kulit Kerang Ajaib dari SpongeBob] Uh, sebentar ya. Halo Kerang, Kerang Ajaib. Aku ingin tahu, aku bisa makan spageti atau kalkun?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak keduanya.
  • Squidward: Oh. Kalau begitu, bagaimana kalau sup?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Kurasa tidak.
  • Squidward: Apa aku bisa makan sesuatu?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak.
  • Squidward: Tidak?! Apa maksudmu tidak? Aku kelaparan!
  • Patrick: [mengambil Kulit Kerang Ajaib] Sini, biar aku coba. Oh, Kerang Ajaib, bolehkah Squidward makan sandwich yang enak dan super lezat ini?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak.
  • Patrick: Hmmm... Boleh tidak aku makan sandwich yang enak dan super lezat ini?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Ya.
  • Patrick: Ah, baiklah! [menyedot semua sandwich ke mulutnya hingga kekenyangan] Maaf, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Berikan padaku! [mengambil Kulit Kerang Ajaib] Aku boleh makan?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak.
  • Squidward: Aku boleh makan?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak.
  • Squidward: Aku boleh makan?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak.
  • Squidward: Bisa bilang yang lain selain tidak?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Coba tanya lagi.
  • Squidward: [bertanya sopan dengan senyum di wajahnya] Bolehkah adu dapat sesuatu untuk makan?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: [dengan nada yang sangat menghina dan sarkastik] Tidak.
  • [Squidward mulai muak]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, kau baik-baik saja?
  • [Squidward menggoyangkan kepalanya tidak terkendali]
  • Patrick: Mungkin kita tanya saja pada kerang apa dia baik-baik saja.
  • Jagawana Hutan Kelp: Halo? Apa ada orang? Halo? Halo?! [kamera menuju ke arah rumput laut. Dia terengah-engah dan melihat SpongeBob, Patrick, dan Squidward kotor] Apa kalian butuh bantuan?
  • Squidward: [kaget] Aku selamat! [berlari menuju jagawana] Kau tidak tahu aku bahagia bertemu denganmu. Selama berminggu-minggu aku terdampar di sini bersama dua orang bodoh dan Kulib Kerang Ajaib mereka, yang juga bodoh!
  • Jagawana Hutan Kelp: Kulit... Kerang Ajaib? [mengambil Kulit Kerang Ajaib dari sakunya] Maksudmu ini?! [mengatakan ini sambil memasang pose mata juling dan memiliki dua gigi besar]
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: Kerang Ajaib! Anggota klub!
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: [memekik]
  • SpongeBob dan Patrick: [memekik]
  • Squidward: [terkaget-kaget] Euuuh.
  • Jagawana Hutan Kelp: Kerangku mengatakan padaku untuk menyelamatkan kalian.
  • SpongeBob, Patrick dan Jagawana Hutan Kelp: Hore untuk Kerang Ajaib!
  • Jagawana Hutan Kelp: Baiklah, Kerang Ajaib... sekarang apa yang harus kami lakukan?
  • Kulit Kerang Ajaib: Tidak ada.
  • SpongeBob, Patrick, dan Jagawana Hutan Kelip: Puja Kerang Ajaib! [mereka duduk diam saja. Squidward, masih kaget, bergerak di antara mereka]
  • Squidward: Puja Kerang Ajaib! [duduk bersama SpongeBob, Patrick, dan Jagawana Hutan Kelp]

Bahasa Inggris

  • [scene starts with Squidward leaving his house on a bicycle while he hums a tune]
  • Squidward: There's my hat... and there's that, and here we go. [starts riding his bicycle to work and passes a tall piece of stalk with a treehouse on top of it with SpongeBob and Patrick in it]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling]
  • SpongeBob: Wey, wook. It's Widward!
  • Squidward: What?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Widward's woing to work.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
  • Squidward: [growls]
  • Patrick: Where does he work? Wat the Wusty Wab?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
  • Squidward: What's that supposed to be— some kind of stupid secret code?
  • SpongeBob: We can't tell you 'cause you're not a member of the club.
  • Squidward: Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? [laughs] Moron... [laughs again] as a requirement. [laughs again]
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!
  • Squidward: Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom!
  • Patrick: [whispering to SpongeBob] What did he say?
  • SpongeBob: [whispering to Patrick] I don't know. Something about his nose?
  • Patrick: [sticks his head out of the "Clubhouse" and talks to Squidward] Squidward, you and your nose will definitely not fit in!
  • Squidward: Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in? [takes off his hat and starts to climb up the "Clubhouse"] Why, you should be begging me to join!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in!
  • [Squidward grunts as he tries to get in the "Clubhouse"]
  • Squidward: Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here!
  • Patrick: That's what we've been trying to tell you!
  • SpongeBob: We've been stuck up here for three days.
  • Patrick: We told you you wouldn't fit in.
  • Squidward: [sneers]
  • SpongeBob: Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Ready!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing] Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid...!
  • Squidward: Shut your half-wit pieholes! [grabs a stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the other one is going down] I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! [gets to the floor but the stalk snaps and the stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it. He starts screaming]
  • Nancy: Whoa!
  • Frank: Make a wish, honey.
  • [Squidward continues screaming. The "Clubhouse" falls into the Kelp Forest]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! [they victory screech]
  • Squidward: Oh, no. That didn't just happen. Please tell me that didn't happen!
  • Patrick: What happened?
  • [SpongeBob shrugs. Squidward runs around the "Clubhouse"]
  • Squidward: Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick wave at Squidward who starts crying]
  • Squidward: Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why-y-y-y?!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, cheer up, Squid. It could be worse.
  • Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.
  • [camera zooms in on Squidward's head which deflates]
  • Squidward: Well... this is the end. [head falls on the ground]
  • SpongeBob: No, it's not, Squidward.
  • Patrick: [building coffins] It's not?
  • SpongeBob: Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! [patting Squidward's head] As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [they do the victory screech again]
  • SpongeBob: And besides, we have this! [pulls out a conch shell]
  • Squidward: What's that?
  • Patrick: Ohhh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something! Ask it something!
  • SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]
  • Magic Conch: Maybe someday.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling] Oooohhhh!
  • Squidward: You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes its advice before we do anything.
  • Patrick: The shell knows all!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Magic Conch Shell, what do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest?
  • Magic Conch: Nothing.
  • Patrick: The shell has spoken!
  • Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting down doing nothing]
  • Squidward: [growls] I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing]
  • Squidward: [growls again] All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! [starts walking away in the Kelp Forest] But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... [laughs] sad... [laughs again] clowns. [laughs again. He begins to run fast and scared while panting] What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost! [trips and falls] Ohh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! [sees light] Huh? [laughing. He goes toward the light] I'm free! Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick! [pumps fists in the air and starts laughing triumphantly but sees SpongeBob and Patrick] Huh? Ohhh... [falls on the ground] there's no way out of here. [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Patrick's head. Squidward is putting a pan over a fire] How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight? [steps on a bug] Ah... [puts the bug on the pan and walks over to SpongeBob and waves the pan over his nose] Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days. [walks over to Patrick] How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any. [walks away from Patrick] And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell! [shakes his butt in SpongeBob's face] If you had listened to me you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam... [moves back to Club Squidward] that tells you nothing! As if the answers to solve all your problems will fall right out of the sky! [laughs] Fall right out of the sky! [camera switches to an airplane falling out of the sky]
  • Scooter: Dude, we're falling right out the sky! We gotta drop the load! [presses the "Drop the Load" button. The airplane drops picnic supplies to where SpongeBob and Patrick are]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch! [victory screech. Squidward stares shockingly and the bug gets up and hits him with the stick. SpongeBob and Patrick eat. SpongeBob eats two hamburgers. Patrick eating a whole turkey in one bite. Now, when SpongeBob and Patrick are drinking, SpongeBob is drinking a can of soda and Patrick is drinking a bottle of ketchup. They laugh]
  • Squidward: Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.
  • SpongeBob: It's a gift from the Magic Conch.
  • Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious. [gasps] Oh! Smoked sausages! My favorite! [smells them but Patrick sucks them in and Squidward's nose too. He pulls his nose out] Uh, hey, uh, [laughs] SpongeBob, I...you know I was just kidding around earlier and-and-and I-I-I mean I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and-and after all, the-the club's gotta stick together, and I-I mean... you know, I-I, um... [stammers] [While he is saying all this, SpongeBob is eating a cookie and is drinking a glass of orange juice]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward?
  • Squidward: Umm...uh..yeah?
  • SpongeBob: Once a member, always a member!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [clink glasses] To the club! [victory screech]
  • Squidward: Yeah. [mimics the victory screech, weakly] Now, uh, if you'll excuse me... [runs to the table with all the food] All right... What shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?
  • SpongeBob: Why don't you ask... the Magic Conch, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick pull the table away and block it]
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization.
  • Patrick: [whispering] Maybe he's not a brother.
  • [SpongeBob looks at Squidward wide-eyed]
  • Squidward: [chuckles] Hey, y-you guys have it all wrong. I-I love this, uh, piece of plastic. [takes the Magic Conch from SpongeBob] Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?
  • Magic Conch: Neither.
  • Squidward: Oh. Then how about the soup?
  • Magic Conch: I don't think so.
  • Squidward: Could I have anything to eat?
  • Magic Conch: No.
  • Squidward: No?! What do you mean no? I'm starving here!
  • Patrick: [takes Magic Conch] Here, let me try. Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
  • Magic Conch: No.
  • Patrick: Hmm... Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
  • Magic Conch: Yes.
  • Patrick: All right! [vacuums in the sandwich and burps] Sorry, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Give me that! [takes Magic Conch] Could I have something to eat?
  • Magic Conch: No.
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat?
  • Magic Conch: No.
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat?
  • Magic Conch: No.
  • Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?
  • Magic Conch: Try asking again.
  • Squidward: [asks politely with a grin on his face] Can I have something to eat?
  • Magic Conch: [in a very insulting, sarcastic-like tone] No.
  • [Squidward starts getting enraged]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, are you all right?
  • [Squidward shakes his head uncontrollably]
  • Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: Hello? Anyone there? Hello? Hello?! [cuts through the kelp. He gasps and sees SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward dirty] Do you folks need some help?
  • Squidward: [gasps] I'm saved! [runs over to the forest ranger] You don't know how happy I am to see you. I have been stranded out here for weeks with-with-with these two barnacle heads and their Magic Conch Shell!
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: Magic... Conch Shell? [pulls out a Magic Conch Shell] You mean like this?! [says this while cross-eyed and having two big teeth]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: The Magic Conch! A club member!
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: [victory screech]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [victory screech]
  • Squidward: [dumbstruck] Abra.
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: My conch told me to come save you guys.
  • SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger: Hooray for the magic conches!
  • Kelp Forest Ranger: All right, Magic Conch... what do we do now?
  • Magic Conch: Nothing.
  • SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger: All hail the Magic Conch! [they sit down doing nothing. Squidward, still dumbstruck, moves in between them]
  • Squidward: All hail the magic conch! [sits down with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the Kelp Forest Ranger]
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