All posts by CaptainCape

Then I posting on a thread that isn't outdated yet.

However, the mini Mr. Clean clone is hit by a freeze ray fired by none other than the NES Part Slowing Guy.

'Look, I just want to talk about-'

Loud punk rock music drowns out my attempts at saying more.

'Ugh, fine! I'll just talk about it using the other half of my consciousness, in the other reality,' I say.

As Santa's reindeer draw a rune circle in the ground with their antlers and they begin to recite the portal creation chants, the sky darkens. 'Yeah, maybe punk Christmas isn't such a bad idea compared to weird spooky interdimensional Christmas ,' I say.

'Yeah, that could work,' I say. 'Though first, I'd like to explain that I-'

I am interrupted by the roar of the interdimensional engine on Santa's sleigh, as the reindeer assume their positions for the portal creation ritual.

'Speaking of RLC time, I think it's time to explain I made a deal with-'

'Not now, Cape! I need to transport gifts to 562 Santa-less universes and I only have a few days in RLC time left,' Santa says.

'I can't believe I've been eating this ice cream for four days,' I say. 'Turns out time doesn't always fly when you're having fun!'

'This one is,' I say.

'Cape, what the [CENSORED BY THE NES CENSORS] are you talking about?' a remaining slice of the SpongeBob cake asks.

'None of your- wait, it would be rather cheap to make the same joke in the same situation in two realities,' I reply.

I enter NES HQ and say yes.

'Wait. Where have you been? I didn't see you leave,' Someone says.

'Reasons™,' I reply.

'You're the best!' I tell the Not-Mire.

'Oh come on, all he did was support you in a violent war to preserve the status quo against a cult-hivemind. Is that really that important?' the Mire asks. 'What if I support you in a violent war to preserve the status quo against a cult-hivemind? Would you call me the best too then?'

'I assume the lessons involve you eating universes?' I ask the Mire.

'Oh come on. What could possibly go wrong?' Epac asks me.

I look him dead in the eye.

'They missed us that much, huh?' I sigh.

'No no, you can easily get out of this if you just tell the police that trouble is your middle name,' I say, before resuming my pondering about my split consciousness.

'Okay, but which one of us is the real Cape?' the part of me in this part asks.

'It's been a whole day, maybe you should explain why Thunderbeak is in a doghouse,' I reply.

'Aren't you concerned about how the end of your reign is slowly but steadily approaching?' I ask Lightningbeak.

'AI robotic automaton, get that Ferengi out of here!' I say.

'I'm sorry. I'm afraid,' the AI robotic automaton replies.

'Can't you just download a therapy file or whatever?'

'I can't do that.'

A steamroller approaches Zootopia...

'Oh hell no. We're not doing that,' I say.

I begin to wonder how many Team NES members it would take to change a lightbulb.

'n+1,' Mathy Cape replies inside my head.