Kracked Krabs

This theory has probably been already done before but I’ve been taking the time to think about this theory for about a week or so, don’t worry, I’ll keep this sweet, simple, and straight to the point.

The Krabby Patty Secret Formula, Planktons needs it to be successful, SpongeBob needs it to remember (even though he’s made krabby patties more times than I can count, I digress), and it’s one of the things that makes the KP, the KP

Without the krabby patty secret formula, Bikini Bottom goes into a frenzy, their entire ecosystem destroyed and all senses of sanity and logic goes out the window (as seen in TSBM2) but you already know that, you probably also know all the OTHER theory’s about what the secret formula is…

Theres a pinch of Poseidon powder, a little bit of love, a crustacean itself?! (guys, the Krabby Patty is named after Mr Krabs…you do know that right?) MSG, or it could just be nothing some people say…

These theories have little to no facts to back them up (btw: when Mr Krabs said “so that’s what I taste like” in mid life crustacean he was referring to the state of the. KP IN QUESTION) and I’m pretty sure the multiple times SpongeBob was saying he puts love into the krabby patty was more sentimental and not literal but that’s beside the point…

Point being, little to no people ACTUALLY know the KP recipe, well technically…Stephen Hillenburg and Vincent Waller (I think) said the krabby patty was made out of no animal products whatsoever…so it’s a vegan burger then…there we go! Mystery solved!…right…? WRONG!

Sure…we could all believe that perhaps things like vegan ice cream…vegan chocolate… or heck even a wild and weird smoothie where Neptune knows what’s in that thing…but a Krabby Patty?? With Vegan meat…REALLY?!

go ahead and imagine (if you want)…your in bikini bottom…your sitting down in the Krusty Krab…your about to take your very first bite of a KP, excited to taste what all the hype is about….but instead of a mouth watering incredibly amazing bite of pure joy…your met with a tongue, shivering, slightly above mediocre bite of pure plant…

So basically what I’m trying to say is…IT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE THAT GOOD! sorry vegans! But this is a bold and big KP we’re talking about, not some little baby pipsqueak (not saying your babies, I just mean in scope), And I get it, some vegan foods taste just like the real thing! You can hardly tell the difference! But guys…come on everyone…

Do you really think Mr Krabs…Mr Eugene Harold Krabs… would actually spend big bucks on genuine vegan meat for his customers, he could care less about the customers…JUST THEIR MONEY! If this was even slightly true, Mr Krabs would probably get the worst of the worst vegan meat…so sadly No. I do not, will not, and probably will never not think the KP are actually made of vegan meat

WHICH FINALLY BRINGS ME TO MY THEORY, do you guys know what perhaps the…ahem…

Secret Krabby SauceEncyclopedia SpongeBobia

This little sauce here…I don’t blame you if you don’t…it’s only appears in 2 or so episodes and isn’t that important…but perhaps it’s more important than we think…in the season 3 episode “As Seen on TV” during the Krusty Krab commercial, Mr Krabs is saying the recipe to the KP and he mentions “secret Krabby Patty Sauce” and then a random scene in not normal has a cameo of it…it’s weird

But anyways…perhaps this is the sauce that makes the krabby patty taste so good…and if we follow that whole vegan burger info we got from the creator, then perhaps…this is the TRUE secret formula…at least in my book

I know what your gonna say…”But in Pickles SpongeBob made the Krabby Patty and listed ALL the ingredients doing so while making the Crying Johnny” well for starters…maybe he just forgot to put the sauce…I mean he went crazy figuring out why he “forgot the pickles” so this theory isn’t without merit

TLDR: The Krabby Patties Secret Recipe that makes it taste so good…is none other than…the

Secret Krabby SauceEncyclopedia SpongeBobia

Because it’s way more delicious than vegan meat…(sorry vegans) way less barbaric and cannibalistic than actual CRAB MEAT (…where’s the logic?!) and way less corny and lame than “a LiTtLe BiT oF lOvE” that’s my theory! hope you liked it!

-TLDR ENDS HERE-

If you don’t like my theory, that’s okay, I would like you to at least respect my opinion and I’ll respect yours…please be kind and respectful and if you don’t have anything nice to say in the comments, don’t say it at all (I know that’s a bit hypocritical by being a bit corny…BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS)

I hope you’ve enjoyed my little theory! And it turns out it wasn’t so sweet, simple, and straight to the point after all! Oh well! Maybe next time! I’ve probably been rambling on and on for a while and your probably not even reading this but I’m probably gonna make another one soon!

Goodbye!!!!! Have a wonderful, amazing, and incredible rest of your morning/afternoon/night!!!

See ya later!

-Warm Regards, Spongebobsuperfunfan :)

P.S: MR KRABS IS NOT THE ONLY CRAB IN BIKINI BOTTOM LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE ANY OF YOU THEORISTS ACTUALLY DO ANY RESEARCH UNLIKE ME?! LIKE COME ON!

Kracked KrabsEncyclopedia SpongeBobia

WAS THAT SO HARD?! THERE ARE PLENTY OF CRABS IN THIS EPISODE!

-anyway see you laterrrr byeeeeeee :)