French Narrator

Voice of Mrs. Puff from SpongeBob SquarePants.

Portrayed Sage from The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run.

Portrayed French Narrator from SpongeBob SquarePants.

"I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready!”

[The episode opens with a cloud transition, and we see a huge highway. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Orlando. It continues zooming to show a wooden shack, a house, and a houseboat, which each contain inhabitants.]

French Narrator: Ah, the surface... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Orlando, teeming with life. [shows from left to right Patrick's, Manward's, and JimBob's houses. Zooms in on JimBob's house] Home to one of my favorite humans, JimBob JeanPants. Yes, of course he lives in a boat, you silly.

[The scene cuts to the house's bedroom. Gary is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a parakeet is seen in a birdcage, and JimBob is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock ticks. JimBob's alarm then sounds. He wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile on his face, turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.]

JimBob: Today's the big day, Gary!

Gary: Meow.

JimBob: [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward his exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.

Gary: Meow.

JimBob: [taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a "squeak" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a door on the wooden shack opens up with a chubby pink man walking out]

Patrick: Go, JimBob! [trips] Whoa! [crash sound effect]

JimBob (1997 Version): [runs down the street to the Trusty Slab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads JimBob JeanPants]

French Narrator (1997 Version): JimBob JeanPants!

[It shows JimBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of JimBob standing in front of the Trusty Slab the scene unfreezes, then the episode continues as normal.]

[Cloud transition to the Trusty Slab.]

JimBob: There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Trusty Slab, home of the Slabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'em straight in the eye, [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye] lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home, but Patrick stops him] Patrick--

Patrick: Where do ya think you're goin'?

JimBob: I was just...

Patrick: No, you're not. You're goin' to the Trusty Slab and get! That! Job!

JimBob: I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.

Patrick: Whose first words were "May I take your order?"?

JimBob: Mine were.

Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?

JimBob: I did.

Patrick: [grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third motivational question] Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh! Well, who's a big awesome guy with jeans?

JimBob: I am!

Patrick: Who's ready?

JimBob: I'm ready!

Patrick: Who's ready?

JimBob: I'm ready!

Patrick: Who's ready?!

JimBob: I'm ready! [runs toward the Trusty Slab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

[Manward is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows by spraying stain remover and attempting to wipe it off.]

Manward: [cleaning graffiti of himself with the word "loser," sees JimBob approaching, and sighs] Oh no, JimBob. What could he possibly want?

JimBob: [in background, at first while Manward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, JimBob! Go, JimBob! Go, JimBob! Go, self!

[Manward looks at the Help Wanted sign, screams, and runs inside to warn Mr. Slabs.]

Manward: [while JimBob says, "I'm ready," one more time in the background] Mr. Slabs! [cuts to the ordering window, where Mr. Slabs is seen happily sniffing a handful of money. Manward runs up to him.] Hurry, Mr. Slabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you- [interrupted by JimBob]

JimBob: Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Trusty Team [normal voice] and now I'm ready!

[JimBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. He bounces back and forth on the ground, and shouts and blurts incomprehensibly upon each hit. The restaurant manager, a 60 year old man, and Manward look at each other. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling. JimBob yet again shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Manward and Mr. Slabs.]

JimBob: So, uh, when do I start?

Mr. Slabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your land legs.

JimBob: Mr. Slabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Manward, he'll vouch for me.

[Mr. Slabs and Manward quickly walk away from JimBob. Manward looks at Mr. Slabs.]

Manward: [deep breath] No.

[Mr. Slabs winks. Manward and Mr. Slabs head back to JimBob, who looks completely puzzled at what he's hearing.]

Mr. Slabs: Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Trusty Team. Go out and fetch me... a... [JimBob takes out a notepad] uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [JimBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive. [more scribbling] And don't come back ‘til you get one. [puts a Trusty Slab crew hat on JimBob's head]

[JimBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile.]

JimBob: [saluting Slabs] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir! [salutes again]

Mr. Slabs: Carry on! [JimBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.

Manward: [smiling] You're terrible. A hydro-what?

[Manward and Mr. Slabs laugh. While Manward laughs, his nose moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Mr. Slabs' laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, JimBob is shown leaving the Trusty Slab. As JimBob fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Trusty Slab from the opposite direction.]

Bus driver: Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their hands out the window!

[The five buses surround the Trusty Slab and the bus doors open. Mr. Slabs stops laughing. Manward also stops laughing but embarrassingly smiles at Mr. Slabs' attentive gesture.]

Mr. Slabs: [gasps] That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do ya smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... [his eyes widen in shock, whispering] Tourists.

Manward: [confused] What?

Mr. Slabs: [loudly] Tourists!

[The tourists get out of the buses and rush inside the Trusty Slab, crowding, repeating the words "feed me" over and over again]

Manward: Please, please, quiet! [the tourists stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmm?

Tourist: Feed me.

Manward: Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register?

[The tourists stare for a moment, then pick up the boat, as their cries of "feed me!" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as JimBob enters.]

JimBob: [singing to himself] ♪ Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. ♪

[Cuts back to the Trusty Slab. Manward and Mr. Slabs are still in the boat register, and being tossed around like a ship in a storm.]

Mr. Slabs: All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!

Manward: One single file line is all I ask!

Mr. Slabs: Whoa! [he and Manward are thrown up in the air] Batten down the hatches, Mr. Manward! [they get thrown back up again; the boat is in splinters] We're takin' on air, Mr. Manward! [they get thrown back up again, with Slabs clutching Manward] I want my mommy, Mr. Manward! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart]

JimBob: [singing] ♪ Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. ♪

[Cuts back to the Trusty Slab. Manward and Mr. Slabs are sent towards a pole by a wave of tourists.]

Manward: Help!

Mr. Slabs: Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Manward! Climb! [they climb the mast, while the tourist flood rises. The tourists then form a big wave twice]

Tourists: Eat! Eat!

Mr. Slabs: This is the end! [shaking hands with Manward] Goodbye, Mr. Manward!

Manward: Oh, Mr. Slabs!

[Mr. Slabs and Manward cry, then JimBob comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune.]

JimBob: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?

Manward and Mr. Slabs: [stuttering in shock at JimBob getting the hydrodynamic spatula]

JimBob: That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Manward and Mr. Slabs in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [to the tourists] Who's hungry?!

[Tiny Tim's "Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" plays while JimBob flies through the kitchen window. A montage of JimBob making and serving Slabby Patties plays. JimBob crashes into a box of patties and shoots them with his arms toward the grill.]

Tiny Tim: ♪ Things that bother you never bother me, I feel happy and fine, aha! Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time! ♪

[JimBob gleefully flies to the vegetable preparation desks, holding the spatula with his mouth. JimBob is chopping onions, lettuce and tomato with a spatula.]

Tiny Tim: ♪ Haven't got a lot, I don't need a lot, coffee's only a dime. Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time. ♪

[JimBob walks around a set of ingredients. JimBob steps on the pump of mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise on buns.]

Tiny Tim: ♪ Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any daughter. ♪

[JimBob dances around in a background with different colors, with the yellow background hiding his limbs]

Tiny Tim: ♪ I do what I like, just what I like and how I love it! ♪

[JimBob holds up a number "1" followed by ascending numbers up to "4." He squeezes a bottle of ketchup and mustard on Slabby Patty to form a smiley face. He adds a patty and the rest of the toppings on top of the lower bun to form a Slabby Patty. JimBob serves the Slabby Patty. Some of the tourists noticed, and one of them caught a Slabby Patty. All of the tourists look toward the window to anticipate more Slabby Patties. JimBob then serves up Slabby Patty after Slabby Patty. He repeats chopping vegetables and serving yet more Slabby Patties. Numerous Slabby Patties are launched through the order window to the hungry tourists.]

Tiny Tim: ♪ I'm right here to stay when I'm old and gray, I'll be right in my prime. Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time! ♪ [hums]

[More and more tourists start eating the Slabby Patties tossed at them. Eventually, all of the tourists are served and they leave on the buses happy. The bus doors close. Lastly, JimBob tosses the final Slabby Patty to the last tourist. JimBob blows the spatula. Cuts to the main room of the Trusty Slab, where Mr. Slabs congratulates JimBob.]

Mr. Slabs: That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. JeanPants. Welcome aboard. [gives JimBob a name tag]

Manward: B-but, but, Mr. Slabs...

Mr. Slabs: Three cheers for JimBob! Hip-hip!

Manward: [weakly] Hooray, Mr.—

Mr. Slabs: Hip-hip!

Manward: [quickly] Hooray.

Mr. Slabs: Hip-hip!

Manward: [quickly] Hooray. Mr. Slabs—

Mr. Slabs: I'll be in me quarters, countin' up the booty. [wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. As he walks towards his office, Patrick enters]

Patrick: Good morning, Trusty Team!

Manward: What would ya like to order, Patrick?

Patrick: One Slabby Patty, please.

[The instrumental to "Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" starts playing. JimBob flies back to the kitchen, using his spatula.]

Manward: What?

[A score of Slabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which Manward dodges, colliding into Patrick and sending him flying out of the Trusty Slab. Cuts to Trusty Slab exterior; crashing noises.]

Patrick: [screams]

Manward: Mr. Slabs! Mr. Slabs! [sarcastically singing] Mr. Slabs, come see your new employee!

Tiny Tim: [at the same time as Manward] ♪ I'm right here to stay when I'm old and gray, I'll be right in my prime. Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time! ♪

[The final instrumental of Tiny Tim's "Livin' in the Sunlight" plays (xylophone solo, followed by a timpani beat and a final note), and the further sounds of shooting Slabby Patties and smashed glass play at the same time, ending the first episode.]

The voices of the French Narrator, SpongeBob, Gary and Harold & the portrayer of Patchy!

Since he's the son of Jacques Cousteau, of who the French Narrator is based on, maybe he could voice a character on the show?

Having a picnic alone?

Yeah?

That's cringe!

Why are you so mean Plankton?!

Hey, Plankton! Eating alone?

You're cringe!

I know! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

When SpongeBob imitated the French Narrator in Mimic Madness he asked SpongeBob to stop imitating him, when both SpongeBob and the French Narrator are voiced by Tom Kenny. So it sounds like the French Narrator is imitating himself.

The voice of Mrs. Puff!

The voice of French Narrator!

The voices of Mr. Krabs, Patchy and the French Narrator!

Make an episode concept involving the French Narrator.

Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?

(For context, there is a thunderstorm going on at my house and the signal cut at the perfect time.)

They're all the same.

At this point, I'm believing his name really IS "French Narrator".